Overstimulation, and being whipped.

I've been completely out of my comfort zone these past few months. First I quit my job. The very same job that gave me a lot of crap to blog about, to get off my chest. The one that gave me anxiety, and tears on a daily basis. How did I last nearly 5 years? How did I not snap a long ass time ago? There were very few people at the Rockwall store that I would call friends. Don't get me wrong, I've met some AMAZING people, but most of them were at the Paris store. I hadn't been unemployed since Malachi was 3 months old... And here he is already 5! I don't want to say my time was wasted, because overall it was a learning experience. I can't help but still feel like my misery was for nothing. I got lucky and was hired soon after for an "office job"... When in reality I was doing things that required me to come into contact with a lot of people, outside my own element. Definitely not used to that. Even luckier, Chris told me to quit once I had landed an interview at an even better office... A real office. To go to the initial interview I had to drive on 635. Anyone who knows me ought to know that scares the bejeezus out of me. I did it like a pro. A few times actually. I met some wondeful ladies, impressed 3 more, and got the call telling me I got the job before I had even made it out of the building! I peed in a cup, signed up for direct deposit... I started my first week and I had a blast. I've met a lot of people that remind me of people I already know... I'm anxious to see the friendships to come out of this experience. Last Monday I was exploring an alternate route home, under a stoplight my car DIED. I was mortified. Of course there were tears. I'm emotional, I can't fool you. Luckily some cops were nearby, as well as the towing service we use. $300 later we fixed the 2nd car in a week for us. A week before Chris had to have his clutch replaced. That was a fun few days of Mr.Worry-Wart stressing out. While all this was going on (job switching/lack of fundange/work schedule) I haven't been going to derby practice. I'm ashamed because there were times I probably could've gone, but chickened out. Yeah, I chickened out. It's so intimidating to me to see these AMAZING skaters, and know I'm not on par. My expectations for my self are too high right now too... I tend to do that. BUT tonight, after my 5th day at my new job, I sucked it up and went. I was begging my friends for motivation! I need someone to ride my ass. I love the sport, and I love the women I'm meeting every practice/bout... I just have to get over my irrational fears of not measuring up and failing. I figure this is all pretty darn normal. Tonight I learned so much. When I t-stop I can make the wheel grinding noise that is SOOO AWESOME TO HEAR!!! I learned how to baseball slide, did a little obstacle course twice... Had my first pack drill! That was some scary fuckin shit. Then I had my trucks loosened by Dad, which hopefully will make that drill easier next time! During that drill I was whipped... A lot. It was awesome. Practice was awesome. These girls are awesome. I'm feeling awesome. <3 It's been a crazy as shit, stressful as hell past few months... But we're on the road to awesome. <3 By the by... My skater name is OFFICIALLY: Anxia T. Attacks! #15mg. Be jealous, bitches. <3 Happy Birthday to one of my best friends, Rocky! Love you, Lesbin!!!<3